The Existential Void That Must Be Met

It has been a while since I posted here. But finally I think I have something worth saying. Or watching.
This video is about the pain of awakening and why it must be faced if we are to experience freedom and peace. I hope you will watch it, it is short and will only take  8 minutes of your valuable time. But if you have EVER felt existential anxiety or wondered if there is something wrong with you, watch this.

Here is some of the text:

Once you have had a glimpse of the program that dictates individual and collective behavior there is no going back and it becomes an ever deepening journey down the rabbit hole.

Everywhere you go you begin to see it in other people and feel it in yourself and it gets crazier and crazier.

And its not always easy or good. 

There is a dark and difficult side to awakening, you begin to see the shadow and the negative side of people and yourself, and where it plays out unconsciously, where it ends up when you see yourself and other people.

It hurts, it hurts, because you see how unconscious so much of all this is, how patterned it is, how created and unconscious people are, and how unconscious you are. 

And you begin to realize that you’ve been asleep all the time from being an infant when there may have been some awakeness with no awareness, and now you start to see that your belief system and thoughts that you thought were yours, that you didn’t question in any way were all programmed into you. 

It hurts, it really hurts, and sometimes it may bring up panic because your world feels like it’s falling apart.

You become ‘an outsider, and what used to work no longer works. And all you feel is discomfort. Thats when you just keep going.

And you might become plunged into an existential black hole, wondering what has any meaning, and what is real and not real?

And that’s the job and the task, to dive into that hole willingly because one sees that there might be something in that hole that is so frightening. there might be something on the other side.

There might be some freedom in diving through.

And it’s up to you, and me, to find out for ourselves what it is. 

No one can tell you, you have to find it for yourself. None of the spiritual teachers or gurus or guides or artists or visionaries or shamans or sages. No one. They can point to it and tell you  about how it is on the other side, but it’s your hole, made for you by divine intelligence, and it your journey to go through it, or not, and see what happens.

The void is there for each of us. Keep going, keep on going and explore. Be bold and be brave and push on through to the other side. 

This is the time to become the adventurer you really are, to become the pioneer and explorer. Only this time the explorer turns inwards.

Meet yourself with Tender Bravery

married-wrong-personNo one wants to be wrong, or to feel wrong. That means we develop strategies to avoid this apparently nasty feeling. These strategies range from avoiding situations that may provoke that feeling, being a pleaser, denial, or on the opposite end, righteousness, stubbornness and rage.
Feeling wrong is something most people want to avoid at all costs. It’s such an undermining feeling, it’s like a big black hole that human beings desperately try and keep clear of for fear of being caught in its vortex.

And of course, given that set of rules and hidden codes, if you ever do feel wrong, it is a calamity to self. It can result in all sorts of dreadful experiences and actions.

Feeling wrong is toxic, no doubt about it. It is the toxic road that leads to shame, guilt, self blame, depression, anxiety, addiction and suicide.
That is when feeling wrong is still imbued with unconsciousness and the weight of one’s personal story.

Choosing to CONSCIOUSLY open the door to this ‘feeling wrong’ and all it represents, all it stands for, all the power it seems to hold, can be the greatest liberation from the conditioned self.

It can be the gateway that opens the door out of the matrix.
It seriously can, upon authentic inquiry, reveal the nature of what is true and what is false.

a figure wearing a halloween ghost costume
a figure wearing a halloween ghost costume

The Ghost in the Machine.

And when truth and falsehood are seen, the game of ‘feeling wrong’ is revealed as a phony ghost.
It seemed real but it was just a white sheet being waved around.

So when I have clients that have any issue to do with self worth, feeling wrong, or avoiding their own depths, we explore all this and meet it face to face, like adventurers.
When you meet yourself with tender bravery, your false face, your defensiveness, your mask of protection, dissolves under the authenticity of this self loving action. It has to.

So don’t think that feeling wrong is so bad. Just decide to reframe it and meet it consciously from now on.

Urban Holism Is Emerging – And It’s Calling Your Name

We have become so conditioned by religion and science that we do not even know we are thinking and believing from a  state of separation.

come_togetherIt is that insidiously embedded.
It informs our actions, our plans, relationships, lifestyles, choices, our values, and our health. 

We think from separation. It’s the dominant world view, and we are all imprisoned by it.

However – It was not always this way. And to survive, thrive and evolve, we have to move forward to an integrated, modern holistic model of living that has Wholeness as its abiding state.

  • The indigenous tribes believed that everything is one thing, and humans are a part of that.  They also knew, innately, that a human being is a whole being, not separate from anything.
  • Holism was the basis of the Greek Wisdom tradition.
  • The Indian system of health, Ayurveda, an over 4000 year old practice, has holism as its central principle.
  • Chinese medicine is rooted in body, mind and spirit.

We left the natural way behind with the advent of the scientific age and industrial revolution.

vivir-bien1When and why did we separate ourselves off from Natural Law?

“We decided we were above nature. We saw our gifts and skills, our minds and our unique abilities to build, create and organise, as things that put us above nature, and thus superior to it, and thus not governed by its laws. We developed our arrogance and selfish ways at the same time as we developed our separation beliefs. It was inevitable.

It has been an experiment in separation.

And we have learned so much. It is hard to say we have failed.

But separation, arrogance and selfish ways have brought us to where we are now, and we have a choice. That choice is one faced by each of us, by our collective bodies, by national bodies and by the global collective.

Do we remain as we are and fight our way to freedom. Do we war, isolate, blame, argue, defend, hate, attack, separate, toxify and pollute our way forward?

Or do we reunite, remember our holistic nature, remember the natural law, reaffirm our connection to each other, the land and the universe itself, and move forward together?

There are only two choices: Fear or Love.
Fear is the way of separation.
Love is the way of Unity.

Holism is not some woo woo, new age idea. It may have become that. But that does it no justice whatsoever.

Holism is a deep and profound understanding and embodiment of the World and everything in it. It is a profound living philosophy, not just some spa pampering idea. 

alchemy_vivdHolism is a Way of Being and Living – It is an interconnected, intelligent, caring, considerate, harmonious and loving way of living that is inclusive not exclusive. It is connected not separate. It is sharing not hoarding, and selfless not selfish. Holism is a deep understanding and living of the principle that ‘I Am You and You Are Me,’ and what is done to me is also done to you. Holism is a way of seeing life as a whole thing seeking harmony and balance. Holism IS Wisdom lived, not just thought or believed. It is a ‘living embodiment.’
But there is another thing. You don’t have to give up your urban life, everything you have and own, you don’t have to ‘go native’ and become hippy to start living deeply holistic principles. In fact don’t do that, unless you really want to.

Urban Holism is what is needed, and it is filtering through, slowly and clumsily. We see it is the campaigns for green roofs, more vegetable gardens, the growing desire for organic and natural foods, the recycling of everything we threw away like shipping containers as homes. We see it in our movements for clean energy and alternative fuels, we see it in our fight for alternative medicine. It’s growing. And it’s growing in people as well. We see it in the emergence of a vast spiritual awakening.

Holism is needed in the city, in relationships, in interactions, communications and business. Holistic principles will become the foundation of new business values in the future, because they are built on win/win/win. I win, you win, and the world wins.

‘So far from this way of living being an escape from the world, it will actually become the bedrock of a new world that is already emerging.’

img_0813Thats where you and I come in. It’s not an intellectual pursuit, nor an academic theory. It’s not something you learn from a text book, it’s a living, breathing experience of wholeness. It is a re-harmonization of body, emotion, mind and spirit. And it calls each one of us to find out where that is not happening within our lives, and then attend to it.

It’s what I call the ‘Return to Wholeness.’

You are Wholeness forgotten itself and take itself as Separate.


My role and function is to assist your transformation so you remember your true holistic nature.  This itself IS the healing principle. My aim is to reconnect you with your own love, because your own love is the nature of the universe. It heals you and it heals the world.

Thanks for Reading!

Don’t get Spiritual, get REAL – Heal Your Relationship with Your Body

Today’s blog is, for some, a contentious subject. In many spiritual circles, particularly the non duality and advaita scenes, they won’t talk about the body because, well, we don’t have one.

As far as they are concerned ultimate truth is all that matters, and in ultimate truth there is only consciousness. So if there is only consciousness why pay any attention to that which is an illusion? Just leave the body alone and don’t get caught in the distraction and addiction to that which is false.
Sounds true? Sounds right?

Well after my own investigations, self inquiry, and experience of being totally cut off from my own body most of my life, and returning to my body over a long healing period, I think I can shed some light on this matter and give it some perspective.

Amoda CR Satsang 2 sepiaI see life from both sides of the spiritual fence. I go to a lot of Satsangs as my wife is a spiritual teacher/author and she holds regular meetings (I am her videographer – one of my many roles!) – so I get quite an insight into the kinds of people that are searching for answers to deep questions.
And of course I have written my own book of healing  and been on a long and deep journey myself, AND speak to a lot of clients about body/mind/emotion issues.
Here are some of my observations.

We search for spiritual solutions to practical problems much of the time. Thats a heck of a thing to say but I can’t help but say it.
Often I see people who are cut off from their emotions and their bodies sitting in Satsang, searching for spiritual answers, asking, ‘Who Am I?’ If they get answers, and this is the big problem, the answers they get stay in the mental realm and do not become visceral, in the body, grounded and real experiences. If the answers are not embodied they are not real, they do not become living realities. And so the trouble develops that these answers stay spiritual theories, not practicalities. We can have all the theories we like, but what we need is a spirituality that delivers practical, liveable, life changing truths.

For spiritual realisations and truths to become living realities we have to address two things.
The body and the emotions.


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