The Existential Void That Must Be Met

It has been a while since I posted here. But finally I think I have something worth saying. Or watching.
This video is about the pain of awakening and why it must be faced if we are to experience freedom and peace. I hope you will watch it, it is short and will only take  8 minutes of your valuable time. But if you have EVER felt existential anxiety or wondered if there is something wrong with you, watch this.

Here is some of the text:

Once you have had a glimpse of the program that dictates individual and collective behavior there is no going back and it becomes an ever deepening journey down the rabbit hole.

Everywhere you go you begin to see it in other people and feel it in yourself and it gets crazier and crazier.

And its not always easy or good. 

There is a dark and difficult side to awakening, you begin to see the shadow and the negative side of people and yourself, and where it plays out unconsciously, where it ends up when you see yourself and other people.

It hurts, it hurts, because you see how unconscious so much of all this is, how patterned it is, how created and unconscious people are, and how unconscious you are. 

And you begin to realize that you’ve been asleep all the time from being an infant when there may have been some awakeness with no awareness, and now you start to see that your belief system and thoughts that you thought were yours, that you didn’t question in any way were all programmed into you. 

It hurts, it really hurts, and sometimes it may bring up panic because your world feels like it’s falling apart.

You become ‘an outsider, and what used to work no longer works. And all you feel is discomfort. Thats when you just keep going.

And you might become plunged into an existential black hole, wondering what has any meaning, and what is real and not real?

And that’s the job and the task, to dive into that hole willingly because one sees that there might be something in that hole that is so frightening. there might be something on the other side.

There might be some freedom in diving through.

And it’s up to you, and me, to find out for ourselves what it is. 

No one can tell you, you have to find it for yourself. None of the spiritual teachers or gurus or guides or artists or visionaries or shamans or sages. No one. They can point to it and tell you  about how it is on the other side, but it’s your hole, made for you by divine intelligence, and it your journey to go through it, or not, and see what happens.

The void is there for each of us. Keep going, keep on going and explore. Be bold and be brave and push on through to the other side. 

This is the time to become the adventurer you really are, to become the pioneer and explorer. Only this time the explorer turns inwards.

An Existential Crisis Is A Gift

The truth is that if you had not already had an existential crisis or two in your life by now, you are either very young, in denial, or missing something. Maybe you HAVE had such a crisis but you have never identified it as such, or you have been afraid it will crush you, or you have never been shown the teaching and wisdom to be gained by embracing it.

Maybe you have never had a powerful CONTEXT for such an experience.

Because, in my observations and inquiries, I would say almost everyone has had at least one moment where they have been thunderstruck by the enormity of the universe, or overwhelmed by the sheer mystery of life, or been utterly disillusioned by existence itself in the face of death and suffering.

It doesn’t have to be all spiritual to be real, deep and painful.

Life is utterly bewildering. Awareness, the fact that we can think and be aware of thinking, is itself an exquisite miracle. The magnificence of manifestation as a personality who can effectively (mostly!) communicate with other beings, who can create things and who has self awareness is maddeningly amazing. 

But the counterpart to that, the shadow of that, the dark side of that, is the wondering what on earth it all means, and what happens to us on either side of life?

As you move through this linear experience of life and ‘get older’ you begin to see how short our time here is. It is over in a flash. And as the years roll by there are times when life itself is perplexing, when the point of it is mysterious, when deep existential and spiritual questions demand answers. Or acceptance in the face of ‘no answers.

But we must look. You and I who are devoted to life’s truth and death must ask these deepest of questions, even if they mean we must face despair and disillusionment. We must not turn away from the dark side, from the shadow, from ‘difficult feelings.’ We must dive in and embrace the whole of ourselves, the light and the dark, the joy and the despair, the magnificence and the horror.

Only then can we say we have truly lived.

For wisdom and great depth are the jewels to be found at the bottom of the deepest ocean.
Swimming Pool

Dark Night of the Collective Soul

I don’t know how you have been recently, particularly this year 2017, but if you are anything like me, you might have been weighed down, disillusioned, even broken at times, and tired of ‘it all.’

Yes, I can honestly hold my hand up and admit that it has been tough. I may have something of a reputation as one who inspires others, who always seems to keep going and one who waves the flag of hope. But boy have I been digging the dirt. I have been almost depressed and reluctant to participate in the whole game any more. When I have looked around at what is going on I just thought ‘fuck it, it is such a mess I may as well leave.’

But I stay, sometimes hanging on by finger tips, and then sometimes feeling new birth and wisdom arising.

Of course we are in weird times. The fact that the ‘greatest nation on earth’ could vote to the top a narcissist right wing misogynist is bewildering to anyone who has any degree of humanity. It has hit us all hard, and we don’t really have an answer, as yet, to the new intensity on Planet Earth.

But it is provoking some new conversations, new inquiry, new depth and new commitment. It is asking us all very personal questions about what our spirituality really means, about when and where we take action, about who we really are, and what we tolerate.

And so it is digging in to our own psyches. And that means it isn’t easy. Things are changing on Planet Earth and the growth is very painful. 

In fact it seems as though we are hell bent on destruction.

And if that is so how do we, individually and collectively, deal with it?

The ground is unstable, the weather is freaky, there is a madman driving the bus and we all have our seat belts on hoping he wont career off the road.

We are in the dark night of the collective soul, and there is no saying whether we will live or die. But we must, each one of us who is called, face the darkness, face the horror consciously, like true spiritual warriors. Not turn away but meet each shadow as it arises, head on and eyeball to eyeball, as it disappears like the maras Buddha faced. We must dispel all illusions until only reality and truth are left.

Thats why its all here, thats why it is so intense. And of course thats why we all want to do something. But the greatest something we can do is dissolve our own illusions and truly awaken beyond all this. There is a greater version of human around the corner, a light filled, ecstatic, liberated, expanded upgrade coming online. 

But you have to start actively CHOOSING THIS, not waiting for it to come and meanwhile staying in the fear realm.

The fear realm is the prison and it is a trap. Fear feeds on itself and we all stay small and we all perish. Be bold, be wise, be free. Dissolve all your illusions until only truth and love remain, and live your life from that place.

And one day humanity will take the step upwards towards its light body self.

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One mind…..7 billion variations

The Problem, as my old Chinese Doctor said, is your MIND
So my beloved has fled to Stockholm to do Satsang for the weekend and I am here in this mess, with a still wracked body and now just pulled a muscle or twitched a nerve in my shoulder.
Not particularly inspired by anything…BUT wait a minute!
Aren’t we making the move of our lives in just two weeks time!=?
(We are going to the US for a while)
Yup.
Why am I not super duper excited?
Because I no longer seem to get super duper excited.

Life offers things, they arrive, they disappear, and it is an endless cycle of appearance and disappearance.

It’s been a heck of a year and has beaten me in many ways…and that beating has actually softened me so much I am like dough that wont shape to bread.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, far from it. I’m actually somewhat ecstatic in a still kind of way. But not excited.

I became weary of mind.

That’s what actually has happened this year. Weary of the stories, the fears, the games, the excuses, the projections, did I say the fears? The endlessness of mind chatter until we croak.

And I got utterly bored because this year I got to see it in full display, freaking me out, warning about this and that, constantly updating me on the latest threat to me, humanity, anything…We don’t need terrorism when we have our own unscrutinised minds…

And it didn’t help at all..It only brought suffering, body problems and exhaustion.
And I saw that my mind is your mind, is everyone’s mind. Mind is non specific, non personal.

Our personal experiences make it seem unique, but thats an error of perception.
There is only one mind with 7 billion variations. On and on and on it goes, ‘protect and survive, threat and attack…must be careful…danger, danger,
danger…judgement…projection…righteousness….’ yada yada yada chatters the mind..

And I got bored listening, to myself and others. That getting bored and seeing the endlessness of the chatter was the greatest blessing. It meant I stopped listening.
And when I get drawn to listen and take it seriously, I am hauled back into the Matrix world of personal suffering…and ooh! I quickly remember and run out of the prison…

I don’t buy it…I’m done with the mind…Great tool, unfathomable talent and skill, astonishing servant of something greater…But believe all it says at your peril…It will lock you up, throw away the key, and tell you it’s for your own good…And you might believe it..
I feel better already.
buddha

Why Your Transformation Matters So Much

Why Your Transformation Matters So Much.

We need to reach a place of such authority through our collective consciousness and awakened action that somehow (and I have no idea how) we actually render Politics and politicians redundant and inept.

While our consciousness is still in the grip of the mainstream system, politicians and manipulators, we have no power.

If we fight it, it wins. It’s like fighting your own ego, you can never win.
We feed it by fighting it. it’s an entity that thrives on fear and attention.

We all know that by now.

And yet centuries of habituation and conditioning have convinced us that we can only find freedom and choice within the system, within the prison.
It doesn’t look like that is the truth.

A man who fights for his freedom while he is prison may find some relative freedom of movement and choice, but the freedom is not his and not total. He is still in a prison, albeit a lenient one. This freedom can be denied him at any time.

So how to collapse the prison entirely and live from total freedom?

My feeling is we don’t know, but all we can do is find this place in ourselves, and through that very activity and transformation something new happens and the threads and shoots of a new way, a new paradigm, begin to form ON THEIR OWN, through natural evolutionary movement.
They are already there, and some of us feel them and see them.

We don’t have to sort out every problem of transition from the Age of Self to the Age of Selflessness, we just have to play our part and render ourselves free.

A cell doesn’t know how a body grows and works. It plays its part fully by being who it is and contributing fully of itself in its own unique way.

Thats all we have. Our own lives as they are now, here, our own consciousness, relationships, work, creativity, health, they are the things that will allow the new age to gather momentum.

Thats why, when someone talks to me of feeling powerless, useless and lost, or they say ‘what can I do?’ I say,
It begins with you. You are at the centre of it. You are not some added extra. You are primary to the change and it matters more then you could every imagine.’
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The Terror Meme That Keeps Us Imprisoned – And How to Collapse It

THE VEIL OF ILLUSION IS THIN.
It is thinner than ever, and fragmenting with an ever increasing momentum.
At times terrifying, bewildering, confusing and enraging, it is part of a necessary disintegration of the false.
As the personal spiritual journey of enlightenment necessitates the disintegration of the illusory self, so the global journey of collective enlightenment demands the same.
It brings the same fears for survival, the same trepidation about the future, and all the ‘what ifs and buts’ that the personal journey involves.
Great!
Ride the Great Wave of Collective Enlightenment.
The veil is hopelessly thin, don’t buy the fear, it’s not real.

The personal journey of enlightened liberation can be quite terrifying. It threatens the small self and everything it stands for and holds onto. It threatens annihilation and will do anything it can to prevent it. That means anything, particularly bring about the fear that blocks it’s own destruction. This fear may manifest as thoughts and beliefs, convincing but deluded. As long as you stop the resolute pursuit of enlightenment it really doesn’t matter.
And even when you decide you are not going to take any notice of fear and and trepidation, there is no guarantee it will happen.
Thats down to grace.
But doing it anyway keeps the door of possibility open.

The global journey of collective enlightenment is going to be terrifying because its going to seem even more out of our control.
Human beings are all about control. We want control, we need control, over something. It’s hard enough when we feel we don’t have control over our own lives.
But when its collective, national, global, then its unspeakably insane in its terror.

The Terror Meme.

Its no wonder we call what is happening ‘terrorism.’ It is the perfect word to keep us all in ‘lock down.’
Terror is almost the hardest feeling to break through. It blocks almost every possibility of love, connectivity, sharing, and love.
Terror is felt in the blood and the bones. It is the height of panic. It is the most isolating feeling there is.
Terror is dense, like treacle. Terror is the prison that keeps us paralysed and in panic consciousness.

Consider this. Terror is the violent meme our modern world has. To my knowledge, it is a word that has only really come into existence since 2001, since that fateful day 9/11. Since then this dreadful word, and all it symbolises and suggests, has been used over and over and over until now it is part of everyday consciousness. If words have power, and we know they do, them this one word has enormous power.
Just for one moment, consider that there was a power that wanted to maintain its control of people. And they saw that collective enlightenment would mean an end to that control. They would do anything possible to prevent this. And they found the most effective way to lock humanity into fear, survival consciousness and separation. And they introduced ‘terror’ and affirmed it as often as necessary to imprint it on public consciousness.
Do you think they would use it?

Unknown-2Now I am not one for global conspiracy, well maybe a bit, but when I really looked into this word, and I explored just how serious it is to a human being, how it brings these feelings of powerlessness and panic, I was actually shocked, as I am now.
Terror is the prison in which modern men and women are caged.
Terror works like a demonic spell cast over its victim. It renders the terrorised inert and incapable of love. It takes everything away, it destroys compassion and gratitude and awareness.
When terror courses through your body it is a visceral experience. It is the height of ‘the fight or flight’ mechanism, but beyond it. We are frozen with terror.
It is the perfect weapon.

Now whether you see this meme as a conscious attempt to imprison humanity, or you see it as an unconscious series of events called history unfolding doesn’t really make any difference. Why?
Because we are still faced with the same questions, individually and collectively.
It is not whether conspiracy is fact or fiction, what matters is that these things are here, and need dealing with.

What are we, you and I, going to do about our enlightenment? Are we going to shrink back in terror and retreat to our prison where we sort of, kind of, feel safe-isa? And then hope everything will be alright?
Or are we going to choose to dissolve all illusions, pierce the veil of falsehood, lies and fear and consciously choose ego annihilation over and over again, until something opens forever?

You cannot be in terror and love at the same time.
You cannot be in peace and enlightenment at the same time as terror is flooding the body with adrenaline or cortisol.
It is impossible.

This terror needs to be met, like Neo from the Matrix meets the bullets fired from the three agents. All he said was ‘No,’ as he realised who and what he really was. It was an inner authority that enabled him to see the bullets as not real.
So it is with us when we are faced with such ideas as ‘terror.’
The_Matrix_Bullet_HaltThe answer is ‘No More, Enough.’

The answer is I, and we, rest as the god consciousness we truly are and we see the illusion for what it really is, an illusion built on erroneous belief in separation.
That is how we collapse the matrix.
Onwards, hold true to love and transcend fear and all ideas of terror. Flood your cells with love, gratitude and joy. It is the only way forward.

Thanks for reading! Please share.